07 November 16
Thanksgiving - A time for being grateful, a time for eating turkey, and a time to reflect on the very first Thanksgiving. This Year during the elves annual gathering, Larry the elf sat down with his children Jerry, Merri, and Perry, (which by the way are creepy small compared to the average sized child. Like, Quarter machine toy sized.) to tell them the story of how the elves invented thanksgiving.
Santa knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, and he knows when you move from England to a new settlement. Back in 1621, Santa told the elves about new settlers who had moved from another land. With all the new addresses, this would throw off their schedule for Christmas eve delivery, so the elves had to go down and re-map the town of Plymouth. While in town, one of the elves saw a flyer for a very controversial Native American event known and the running of the turkeys, commonly known as the Whop-Whop Gobblepalooza.
Wanting to blend in, the elves dressed as Gobblepalooza super fans, fully decked out with a turkey pelt jerseys, beak face paint, and foam #1 claws. Once arrived at the event, they stopped by the concessions and picked up cranberry snow cones, turkey jerky, and corn on the cob; your typical east coast stadium snacks. With so many concessions to carry, the elves were glad to have the EZ Roller storage bag, with its no-drag technology, to easily transport everything (purchased from Christmasworld.com at a price anyone would be thankful for).
After the elves sat down, the Wampanoag Indians that were sitting one log over cheerfully said to the elves, “Wuneekeesuq” (pronounced similar to wuh-nee-kee-suck, meaning a friendly greeting translated as "Good day!”, obviously). Technical translations aside, the tribe members went on to tell the elves what they all wanted for Christmas, hoping the elves would put a good word in with the big man. The elves happily agreed to submit their gift requests if they were taken to the best restaurant in the village after the event.
“AND THERE OFF!”, the announcer shouted (there were not PA systems in 1621, get real).
The over populated flock of fowls flared there wings and kicked there feet as they trampled each other to reach salvation. The finish line for the turkeys ensured there safety from the barrage of hatchets and arrows being flung at them from the crowds.
After the event, the elves and Native Americans gathered at the at The Black Teepee restaurant, the most popular restaurant in the village due to celebrity chef Bobby Fillet. During the meal, the elves noticed that the pioneers were waiting in line as they did not have a reservation. They looked cold and hungry and the elves took pity. Larry’s grandpa, Lehry, suggested that they invite the pioneers to join them for the meal. Chief RedBerri prominently said “No! They dress funny.” Lehry countered the objection by stating that if they were to give this kind gesture, it would ensure they landed themselves on the nice list and Santa would come down their smoke stack to deliver all their presents under their buffalo hide trees, decorated with spotlight tipped mini lights; OOOO very festive!
RedBerri agreed and thus, The Whop-Whop Gobblepalooza feast was born. Years later, realizing that name was ridiculous, they changed it to Thanksgiving. In addition to the name change, they began eating one turkey per table, rather harassing hundreds that ran for their lives.
“So you see little elves, there was a happy ending for everyone, I’d say”, Larry said. “and it shows that its rewarding to be nice and giving to others.” (Just like Christmas World, always giving great deals worthy of Chief RedBerri and the Wampanoag people)
Make sure you have plenty to be grateful for this coming Thanksgiving, and receive the great gift of giving, given by the giving elves through deals up to 40% off.
#GobbleUpTheSavings before turkey day so that you’re prepared for Christmas.